Every year one of my goals is to read a book a month. The books I read are mostly business or leadership books. This month I am reading a book by Dr Henry Cloud, called the The Power of the Other. It is fabulous!! It always amazes me how timely some books are in my life.
The science is proving what many of us has felt, but not had the understanding or the words to express. We need connection, Isolation is bad for us. What neuroscience has uncovered is that we can never be our best on our own. “Relationship affects our physical and mental functioning throughout life. This invisible power, the power of the other, builds both the hardware and the software that leads to healthy functioning and better performance.” [Dr Cloud -The Power of the Other]
In this book, Dr Cloud speaks of the power of connection, and the importance of having the right connection. Not all connections cause us to thrive. In his book, he writes about the four corners of connection. The first corner being NO CONNECTION, the second corner is BAD CONNECTION, the third corner is PSUEDO OR FAKE CONNECTION and then the one we all need to get ourselves to, the fourth corner is REAL CONNECTION. Check out his explanation of each of these corners.
As I thought of time in my life when I felt like I was firing on all cylinders, where I saw and felt the growth and felt “bulletproof” and I noticed that I had really incredible people my life. There were about 5 key people, who when I was in contact with them, whether they were agreeing with me or not, made me brave, courageous, creative and feel like anything was possible. There was also a group of business woman I met with every Thursday, no agenda, no program, just eating breakfast together and sharing our story’s and journey’s together, some of the most profound wisdom and moments came out of those “Poached Egg on Rye” meetings, not because we were trying to make it happen, relationships build over time and through that relationship, science shows that our brains literally change for the better, if we have real connection.
We live in a time where because of social media and the internet we are the “most Connected” we have ever been and yet, including myself, there are times where I feel incredibly disconnected and lonely, it’s an awful feeling. Isolation is a dream killer and can lead to us being paralysed, when things are tough. The thing is, real connection takes time. Something we are always telling ourselves we don’t have, but if we prioritise we can make time for something as vital as this.
Another quote from the book sums it up, “The undeniable reality is that how well you do in life and in business depends not only on what you do and how you do it, your skills and competencies, but also on who is doing it with you or to you. Who is helping you? Who is fighting you? Who is strengthening you or resisting and diminishing you? These people are literally making you who you are.” Dr Henry Cloud, The Power of the Other
Who are the “Others” in your life that influence you to be better, to thrive? Who are the “Others” in your life that you are intentionally contributing to? Let that be a priority this week….